and the whammy goes to...

The Dukes of Hazzard for the worst movie of the year. Yes, I rented it. What was I thinking? Not only did I rent it, but I watched all of it. It was so bad within the first 15 minutes, I thought that clipping my toenails would have been more interesting.

and accepting the award for the worst movie of the year are some previous winners from tonight, Jessica Simpson (worst supporting actress), Willy Nelson (worst supporting actor), and the guy that plays Stiffler on American Pie (worst actor).

I'm not sure who won worst actress, i must have been in the bathroom when i made up that award.

Hold on, I've got it, Jessica Alba in the Fantastic Four. It was the whole passing out scene that got to me. she was an invisible shield so hard she passed out. now that's some intensity.

stevie nicks never looks sexier than she does when she's singing gold dust woman.

do you know some people are now publishing "Blooks"? It's a book of blogs. so i could like publish my blogs in a book and call them blooks.

although the word blooks just sounds strange to me so i'm not sure i want anything to do with a blook.

i'm not sure we should keep making up words. there are already too many to possibly know what each one is.

and for other entertainment news. narnia made a lot of money this weekend at the box office. but with a name like narnia i'm surprised because it's strange like blook.

in the dukes of hazzard about the only things that were actually like the tv show were the names, the town, and the car. other than that, it wasn't much like the tv show at all. boss hog was tall and smart, roscoe wasn't a bubbling idiot, okay so enus still was, but jessee wasn't a pothead on the tv show and willy (uncle jessee) was smoking pot from an apple. it was just so bad that i feel sharing it with others will help me recover faster. when you cry, you cry alone (not really. i can explain), but when you laugh the whole world laughs with you. first of all that's bullshit. my mom will cry with you. for pretty much any reason. you cry in front of her and she's going to cry with you. secondly, the world doesn't laugh with you and neither do all of the people in the world.

he's got the whole world in his hands. he's got the whole wide world in his hands. he's got the whole world in his hands. he's got the whole world in his hands. mahalia jackson style.

the duke boys were also running moonshine in the movie. uncle jessee cooked it up, and daisy just talked about her undercarriage.

it was truly a terrible movie.

but i saw another bad movie the other evening, "The March of the Penguins". i really thought i would like it because i typically like wildlife movies, but i've seen more interesting shows about penguins on public television and i didn't have to pay $3.99 at blockbuster to see them. first of all, morgan freeman didn't sell it as the narrator. he just wasn't passionate about the penguins. he didn't have to film them in antartica where the temperature was more than 56 below zero. so his involvement was the money he got paid for lending his voice, but who will be the voice of the penguins? anyway, it was just a bit boring without the penguin passion as the narrator.

morgan freeman used to be on the electric company and now he's a real actor. he's even won an academy award, don't look for a repeat winner with his lack of interest narrating. i know, why don't he and ashley judd play in a movie together where she is a victim wanting revenge and he is a retired policeman that she trusts to help. how many times have they done this one now?

although i have to admit, the march of the penguins was better than the dukes of hazzard.

but then again so was a play i was in when i was in second grade. all i remember is i was a chinese man in the play and phil was the emperor. imagine me. a chinese man. that still makes me laugh. the teacher used colored chalk to draw dark lines from my eyes to give them the appearance of being slanted. i wonder if chinese children do the same play and draw circles around their eyes to look american?

but an american can look so many different ways. but i'm sure in the 70's doing the round eyes would have been okay since we weren't as diverse.

do you know, i just realized that i still don't like of the people i didn't like in 2nd grade? and i'm not holding a grudge from anything they did. i just don't like at least 2 people from 2nd grade. i won't say how old i am, but i will say this. i'm older than a 20 year class reunion. teresa and stephanie. they were bitches in the 2nd grade and probably still are.

and so i took a movie break to watch Havoc. Not a bad movie. Not great, but better than dukes of hazzard.

and now i'm tired so i'm going to bed.